Last post before Taiwan...

From the trib...

The 5-foot-11-inch, 202-pound Zbikowski, who aspires to an NFL career, is just as passionate about boxing. And at a news conference Wednesday at New York's Madison Square Garden, he officially became a professional boxer, scheduled to make his debut June 10 in the storied Garden.

Article here

Question

This is embarrassing... How do I put a video clip up on this p.o.s? I would just email it, but I want to be tech-cool too...
It's not one of these You Tube things, it's just a .wav?

Collective Stream of Conscience

I tried to remember as much as I could of the conversations we had last weekend. I'm sure I've missed some stuff, but here it is...

Turtle Racing Loving Lesians    
 Penis Envy    
 Gender Identity    
 Sexuality     
  Societal Influences   
  Pre-wired    
  Relationship balance   
   Dominant v. Submissive 
   Gender Roles    
  Tribal Communities   
   Technological Advances 
    Teleportation 
    Existence  
   Gods, Faith, Beliefs  
    Scapegoat Religions 
    South Park's Chef 
     Humor and Genius of Parker/Stone
     Team America
      Dicks, Pussies, Assholes
      Puppet Sex

First an Enzo, now a SLR

Remember the dunce of a CEO who ripped his Ferrari Enzo in half and blamed the accident on a 'phantom' driver? Well his dunceness is back, and this time his wife was caught driving an unregistered Mercedes SLR McLaren without a license.


Full article here

Seemy Underbelly

So I found out today that there was a law passed in 2003 in the wake of the Patriot Act, which, lucky enough (or by design) for our lawmakers, the waves of which were large enough to obscure the passing of it's impish little cohort into law. The imp is the Extradition Act, which basically says that America can extradite any citizen of any country based on suspicion alone. Lawmakers claim the bill was designed to facilitate the rapid capture of terrorists, but as with those pesky wiretaps, there are those who fear that the government will hide behind vague, blanket coverage laws and use them to prosecute non-terrorists, all in the name of National Security which, as we are lead to believe, ultimately means the safety of you and I. So our government, one that stands for Freedom, has a law on its books that allows it to take the freedom of anyone on the planet without evidence (and they're using the hell out of it). In a nice level-jump, however, American citizens cannot be extradited to another country because it violates our constitution. What kind of bullshit is that? The constitution is based on the first principle of universal human rights. Rights for all. So, the Extradion Act violates the constitution as well. It is so blatanly obvious that this is true, yet its just another scale on the seemy underbelly of our government, the bloated snake becoming hungry, expanding its groping mass over the populace of the planet with the same non-thinking self-assuredness of a python as it squeezes until that annoying thump emanating from within its prey is silenced.

Team Sula

Looks like Sula's marketing team is really....I don't know...gay?

KGW - Reunited Airlines

Video for the fantastic song "Reunited Airlines" from Kleenex Girl Wonder's 2001 double album "Smith".

Permalink is here

Somewhere I have been at some time Something pulls me in. Someone said something and I thought of you and said "Someday I know we'll be something again and then Someone else will say something I said." It takes time, time to take off, because Right now, I can't take it again Some time, I'll take some time off, and we'll Make time to take the time then In the time it takes to take off We'll take off and take it all off and talk it all off So come back to backyard sun Sometimes I run, Sometimes I am ran from And someone is coming to, Running to run to someone The sun isn't coming and Some just aren't cunning The summer is coming for someone you love It's soft where you stopped, so stay soft You'll find the time that it takes to take off Depends on how much hot air you got I may be wrong, baby; maybe I'm not But if I'm wrong, I can't take the truth In the time it takes to make up an excuse I'll be gone.

Dipping sauce and tiny sandwiches

awesome job last night on the primary coverage, mikey d! you had me and s.b. dying with your response to steve edwards' question about what the food spread was like at cegelis headquarters. did you get on live before that segment? we started listening around 9.

Conan is coming to Chicago!

According to the Trib, Chicago will become the 'Cone-Zone' for the week of May 9, when Late Night will tape four shows from the Chicago Theatre. Apparently, Conan will explain how to get tickets during his March 28 broadcast. We gotta go!

read the full story here

Follow me north....to FREEDOM!

with my new admin rights, i've changed our banner (see above banner). if anyone objects, i'll take it down. if anyone has cooler ideas, let's make them happen.

Lookwell

This is the never-picked-up pilot of Conan and Robert Smigel's 1991 show called "Lookwell", starring Adam West. Hysterical writing. That must have been a turn-off or something.

Permanent link to the video on Youtube

March Madness

Fill out your brackets by Thursday morning!

For our favorite Korean...

Korea 7, United States 3

Hee-Seop Choi's three-run homer off Dan Wheeler in the fourth inning was the key blow Monday night as Korea beat the Americans 7-3 to remain the only unbeaten team in the inaugural World Baseball Classic.


ESPN.com

Smoking is bad for you

from the Tribune, regarding the proposed cook county-wide smoking ban (which would include all the suburbs):

It's always delightful when the county substitutes their judgment for the judgment of local officials--and I'm saying that as sarcastically as I can," Cicero town spokesman Dan Proft said. "It's disconcerting when County Board members have nothing better to do than politically grandstand and usurp local authority when they can't even keep criminals behind bars and run a county hospital system.

Zing! full article up in this business

About Comments

I changed the settings for comment moderation so that you can edit a comment if you want. The how-to, from the blogger faq:

It is not possible to edit comments. If you want to edit your own comment, you can simply delete it and then re-enter it with the changes. (However, the timestamp will be modified to reflect the time of the new comment.)

Also, we're all admins now, so you can edit posts as well. Work it!

Feeling Frisky?

Per our conversation Saturday night (for those that were there):

Taken from Wikipedia:

The male cat's penis has spines which point backwards. Upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina. The female needs this stimulation for ovulation to begin. Because of this, female are rarely impregnated by the first male with which they mate. Furthermore, cats are superfecund; that is, a female may mate with more than one male when she is in heat, meaning different kittens in a litter may have different fathers.

So I was off on the fact that the guy needs to "lock into" the girl...but nonetheless...it explains all the noise during cat-sex.

Hippie Alert!

Check it out...K-Gibbo made the front page of the Oregon Daily Emerald. She is in the first picture here...

No El

From ESPN...

The Redskins further bolstered their receiving corps Sunday, agreeing to a seven-year deal with Antwaan Randle El. The deal, which includes $11.5 million in bonuses, is voidable after the sixth year.

Full article here

Sidestall, freestyle walking: meet your match

We could've done so much more in high school than just elect "Babe of the Week" during lunch. Though that was also fun.

Death by dildo-ization

It's Jeffrey's Happy Birthday Time...

A day late, but still wishing our favorite man-boobs a rad 25.

Feel free to replace 'Peanut Butter Jelly' with 'Jeffrey's Happy Birthday'

Slow Motion Pain

so a little while ago i woke up from this terrible dream which culminated in gibbo's kitchen with some anonymous freak smashing my lower leg with a ball peen hammer. a lot of other fellini-esque things preceded this. the reason i'm writing about it is because i experiened a personal dream first: everything, including the pain from the hammer blow, was in slow motion. it was really brief, like in the matrix. the hammer-wielding arm was cocked back in real time, but the moment it began to swing forward, everything went slow-mo and streaky. when the hammer reached my leg, i felt a wave front begin to spread out from the point of impact. it was like large ripples of water were spreading out from the surface of my leg inwards toward the bone. then, like a lit fuse reaching a load of dynamite, the front ripple suddenly exploded into massive waves of red hot pain that shot out in every direction. a couple seconds into that, (which means like 2 milliseconds of normal time) and i was like 'ok, this sucks; i'm waking myself up'.

Conan: Park Ridge Vs. Des Plaines

EDIT: clip removed by youtube. can now be seen here

Those Austrians are going down from Bird Flu...or are they?

And now, proof that alcohol is universally addictive; at least in mammals. Vienna was in an uproar the other day when birds started dropping from the sky and showing up dead all over town. The panic was so great, the civic fear so huge, that they immediately cloned Hitler and installed him as Furher to guide them through the thick haze of pandemonium that stopped every citizen dead in their tracks. His first decree was to blame the Jews, which met with a warm reception from the populace, especially from the elderly, who at that point began to whimsically reminisce about the "good old days" when everything that went wrong was obviously the fault of the Jews. "Nowadays, what with terrorists crashing planes and Sasha Cohen getting a freakin silver medal after falling twice in the short program, you just never know who to blame. Who can keep track of it all?" Wonders 88 year old longtime Vienna native Hans von Klechtenbrau. "And don't even get me started on Bonds." When reminded about the birds, the old man said, "Oh, the Jews are definitely to blame for this though." None of them could be more wrong. It turns out that these birds were actually football hooligans from Manchester, making a pit stop in Vienna to get totally tanked off the fermenting berries that fall from trees all over town. This was proven out when a local naturalist examined the birds and found broken necks and livers so scarred that they made Hemingway's look like a newborn's. Birds have a natural capacity to orient themselves to the Earth's polar magnetic field as an innate means of navigation. I wonder if these birds were also able to pick up radio waves emanating from a local public radio station, where dead at the switch was an intern who, in an unrelated incident, had been killed by bird flu. As he collapsed and released his bowels in death, the slick now forming on the seat of his pants caused him to slump over the soundboard, accidentally pressing the "repeat" button. The song on continuous repeat was Cloudberries by the Super Furry Animals.

http://www.discover.com/web-exclusives/drunk-birds/

What $4 million can buy...

LaVar Arrington, a probowl linebacker for the Washington Redskins, gave up a $4 million roster bonus to become a free agent. Needless to say, he was unhappy playing in our nation's capital. Fox Sports recently posted a list of what LaVar could've spent his bonus on. Here are a few examples:

Vacations: Flying out of Washington, DC and spending rather generously on accommodations, Arrington could've taken 1,142 different two-week vacations to Paris. That means Arrington could've spent 44 years of his entire life on vacation to Paris.

Music: Arrington could've bought 210,748 copies of Journey's Greatest Hits. That would make the album Platinum immediately in Germany, had he decided to buy them there.

Gum: Arrington could've bought himself 3,100,775 packs of gum.

Cable TV: If Arrington is a wrestling fan, he could've ordered every single WWE pay-per-view until February of the year 11214. By then, I'm certain that WWE owner Vincent K. McMahon CXXI would appreciate the 9,235-year old Arrington's die-hard viewership.

Full article here

If peein' your pants is cool...

A federal bankruptcy judge in Texas cites the Billy Madison precedent to dismiss a motion in trial (see page 2 of the ruling below). This is in response to the “Defendant’s Motion to Discharge Response to Plaintiff’s Response to Defendant’s Response Opposing Objection to Discharge.” All rise for the honorable Judge Leif Clark.

Now those are some spirit fingers

From the crack staff at the Associated Press:

Kristi Yamaoka wasn't about to let a chipped vertebra and concussion ruin her school spirit. The Southern Illinois cheerleader lost her balance on a routine Sunday at the Missouri Valley tournament in St. Louis and fell about 15 feet onto her head. Giving a two-handed thumbs up from the gurney, the 18-year-old sophomore from Springfield moved her arms and cheered. "As long as my arms were functioning, I could do the fight song," said Yamaoka, in fair condition Monday and expected to recover fully.

Jean Grey is the Phoenix!!!

New X3 Trailer aired last night. Such a good trailer...

Padme raps

EDIT: Apologies...youtube had to yank the video, but sweet Padme rhymes are up on nbc's website.

Brian's Monday Mid-Morning Post (aka the BMMMP)

All the Taiwanese in the house, let me here you say 'Yeah!'

Taipei - Taiwan on Monday celebrated native-born son Ang Lee after he won best-directing honours at the Academy Awards for his film Brokeback Mountain with President Chen Shui-bian calling him 'the pride of Taiwan' and Lee's mother shedding happy tears with his fans.

Let's go Formosa, Let's go!
Taiwan represent, what what!

Brian's Monday Morning Post (aka the BMMP)

Me and Maggie rocked the Lincoln Park Orienteering Meet this past weekend, bringing home the silver for the Medium course. Check out the results baby after the jump.

I think we will be heading out to Waterfall Glen in Darien in two weeks to try this orienteering again. $8 per team gets you lost in the woods. Come join the fun!

Click here

The Gay Man's Super Bowl

This paragraph from a New York Times article about the Oscars had me dying:

Oscar night is no longer about movie stars feting each other in front of an awed audience. It's about viewers deconstructing celebrity — abetted by a cottage industry of stylists, dermatologists, surgeons and trainers who reveal the fakery behind even the most seemingly natural beauties: celebrity with a dehumanized face. And TV commentators fawn and probe on pre-Oscar shows and red-carpet interviews with little to no curiosity about filmmaking or news events but insatiable appetite for details about clothes and personal grooming. (There is something delicious and embarrassingly decadent about the national obsession with the Oscars — an entire country caught eating raw cookie dough while reading "in Touch.")

Real Life Simpsons Intro

Go internet.

Who is left?

Who else got an invite to be a member of the blog?

my bloggymen has been broken

waddup blogger world...

Forget Humans, Save the Emperor Penguins

A new study finds Antarctica is melting away at a rate of 36 cubic miles per year, contributing to the gradual rise in sea levels worldwide. While some people might be worried about the flooding of coastal towns and small villages, more importantly, what will happen to the cute baby animals living on Antarctica?

Damn you, global warming... or commend you?

Leave it to G-Dub and his cronies to keep it real:

According to the World Bank, one-third of the world's population already suffers from chronic water shortages... Global warming would mean more condensation and more evaporation, producing more and/or heavier rains. Global warming, therefore, could offer the answer to the water scarcity problem that the Worldwatch Institute has been seeking.

To paraphrase one Rick James, "Denial's a helluva drug."

You just made me vomit in my own mouth

oh my god.. at long, sweet last.. an even stevphen segment from the daily show, this one circa 2003. i've been looking for one these FOREVER! god bless you, youtube.

Owned by eBay

I got guerilla-outbid on this beautiful collection of music from the BBC Radiophonic Workshop on eBay today. Literally less than 20 seconds to go, and the fucker got it by 1 pound (sterling). Can't say I haven't done the same a couple times in my day. But damn..that stings!

I started watching eBay for BBC Radiophonic stuff in the first place after I saw "The Alchemists of Sound", a documentary about the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, who were pioneers in the development of electronic music. It's a fascinating little film. Here's a taste:

And you can get the whole thing in the link below. Keep an eye out for this weird guy who just stands in the background during all the interview segments. I don't know what that is, maybe some Dr. Who reference or something:

THE ALCHEMISTS OF SOUND - 175MB wmv (right click to download)

Conan in Finland

If you don't know, Conan's been doing this running gag about looking like the president of Finland. He went out there a few weeks ago and this is one of the talk shows he appeared on. Interesting seeing him on the other side of the mic.

Jon Stewart on Larry King

can you guys see this? if you can't, click here

wasabi

great idea horsey. let the randomness begin.

We form like Voltron and GZA's the head

First off, great idea on the blog, Horse.

And for my first post....

The GZA/Genius will be at Abbey Pub tonight. Kind of a late show, but definitely worth thinking about going. Last I checked, tickets were still available online... Wu-Tang!

Wednesday, March 1st @ The Abbey Pub

THE GZA (Wu-Tang)
DJ MUGGS (Soul Assassins)
SELF SCIENTIFIC
VERBAL KENT
MR. GREENWEEDZ

@ The Abbey Pub
3420 W. Grace, Chicago

18+. Doors @ 8pm, show @ 9pm.
$20 in advance, $22 at the door.
Purchase advance tix @ AbbeyPub.com

Bienvenidos, Slapnuts!

This is a test of the Slapnut Broadcasting Service:



This concludes our test. Thank you.